Long time no talk.
I was looking through my archives today and realized that I made this tumblr during my sophomore year of high school. Then I realized that my sophomore year of high school was almost five years ago - who knew time could fly by this quickly?
Sometimes I think about deleting this blog, but I kind of like having a little time capsule of my life on the internet. It’s been pretty entertaining (but slightly mortifying, although not as embarrassing as my xanga phase in middle school) looking back and seeing what thought was worth reblogging and writing about, and how it’s changed over the years. I can read a vague post or spot a quote and know exactly which boy it was about and I can look at a drunk selfie, which have cropped up mostly within the last 6 months, and remember exactly what happened that night and how I was feeling. I find many girls (although not everyone! There are definitely a few people who I check up on a lot to read about their lives, and not in a hate read kind of way. If I follow you, you are probably not one of those attention seeking weirdos, I promise.) who angstily vent about their lives and how much they hate themselves on this website annoying, but the same time, am I really that much better? Still though, there is something cathartic about sharing your life with strangers and a few people you know from school on the internet. Even if there are no notes on your posts, there’s always the potential for someone out there to be listening and someone who is going through the same struggles you have. Maybe if I vented more on here, I’d spend less time blurting out my feelings to anyone that will listen whenever I’m under the influence of alcohol. (Drunk honesty can be awesome, but is pretty awful at the most inconvenient times. I haven’t had much to be angsty about this semester though, so this hasn’t been as much of a problem recently. Still mentally preparing myself for going back to real school next semester though!)
I’ve come so far since high school, but there are definitely some moments when I feel like my 16 year old self, holed up in her room reblogging vague quotes about heartbreak and pictures of celebrities, cute animals, delicious food, and clothes I can’t afford. (Speaking of expensive clothing, I still want those beautiful Madewell chestnut riding boots I’ve been lusting after since junior year. Even four years later, their price hasn’t gone down and I still haven’t managed to save enough money at one time to buy those beautiful works of art.) Even so, looking back on both the good and bad parts of my life these past five years has been eye opening. I am so thankful for the amazing people I’ve been blessed to meet, the opportunities I’ve been privileged to have, and the lessons I’ve been able to learn, even if it meant having to make a lot of mistakes. I’m not sure exactly when I will post something on tumblr next, but if you’re reading this, thanks for actually finishing this long winded clusterfuck of a post! Here’s to a great end of 2013 and an even better 2014.
Oh hey there!
So I downloaded the tumblr app on my phone awhile ago, have consistent wifi for the first time this semester, and drank a little too much wine tonight. Hey, lovely followers who still care about what I have to reblog! Thanks for sticking by!